17/11 05 The world of only ONE solution

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When I talked about "only one solution" I did not refer to a final solution. I am not claiming that their is one real solution. I am refering to the lives of millions of people - the mayority of the planet. Very many of them live the life - the only life - they can choose. They don't know about the conception of choice. It does not exist for them. They live the only life they can live. This is what I am talking about, when I invite into the world of only one solution. I want us to look at the world as a place where many people are trapped in their lives. They know that it is not leading anywhere, but they can't do anything different than what they are already doing and this is how we need to understand them.
I will try to introduce you to some peple I know, which I believe live in their only possible solution. They are poor in a way, some of them very much, others seem to be able to move but it never happens for some reason. Don't judge them - look at them. Regardez-les. I met this kind of people all my life, but I did not think about them in this way before three years ago. Therefore the examples come from Africa. This does not mean that it is an African phenomeon.

Better Fortune:
I call her that – maybe out of a wish that her destiny would have been different. She is young lady. She was very smart dressed and sitting in a bar with her friend. I notice her clothes and ask her about it. She tell me that she buys her clothes in Gardens City. For those who are not familiar with shopping in Kampala I will give you directions. Garden City is one of the newer shopping centres. This is the place everybody will say they go all the time, but very few actually go there. It is not very accessable without a car and expensive, which is part of the attraction. Besides they have fixed prices which is not a very easy thing to deal with unless you are taken there by somebody who is going to pay for your expenses. My friend and I went out dancing with Ms. Better Fortune and her friend. We had fun, but when I wanted to drop her before going home to sleep she cried like a little baby becuase I did not want to bring her with me home. I was chocked but forgot about it the next day. I kept meeting her around in different bars where prostitues and other opportunistic girls hang out in the evenings. It was obvious that her friend was already a full time prostitute, but I did not take it into account, maybe because I wanted to believe that Better Fortune was a nice girl that just were going out with her friend on Saturday night. One evening I meet her in a bar where some of Kampala’s most sloppy prostitutes come. I am just talking to her. Suddenly a man whispers something to her and looks towards the dance floor. In the next moment she has disappeared. I am wondering what happened to her. I see her sitting by the dance floor as if she is waiting for something to happen. She is. A white man approaches her and starts talking with her. They dance and she kisses him and after a very short time they are leaving together. I am sure now. She is working here. She is not a bad girl and not very different from anybody else. I have seen it happen many times. They all start out going to small bars to drink. Always with a friend that is already down the road. Slowly they get tempted to do the same. It can’t hurt if he will give me money. I will only do it, if I want to - but it will change. Suddenly she is in business and there is no way back. You might think that she must have other options, but what shall she do to get a life. She did not go to school. She does not have any money to invest in a more proper business. This one only need her body – it is true that the costs are big in the long run, but in the beginning everything is nice and easy. Meanwhile you will dream of the man who comes to take you away – far away – to his castle in another world. She still has the option of staying at home. Then there will be a man to get her pregnant and then run away with other women and this is what Better Fortune is trying to avoid. They are many. I am not saying their judgements are right, but they live in “the world of only one solution”.
Your question should not be if she has another option, but how you will meet her.
Will you try to understand her?
Can you excuse her?
Are you giving her the benifit of doubt?
To be continued...

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