White African

Sometims a memory pops up in my mind. Here is one from 2005. A had just returned from two  years in Uganda. After I had told four different stories from my life in Kampala, there was a woman that responded with: "you are making it very hard for yourself". I was especially a comment to a storry about my friend Richard who died in December 2004. I 2005 holdt jeg en foredrag på Fyn. Få måneder tidligere var jeg kommet tilbage til Danmark efter to år i Kampala.  Mit foredrag bestod af fire fortællinger. Den ene handlede om min ven Richard som døde i december 2004 - for nu 12 år siden. Hans officielle dødsårsag var AIDS, men min konklusion i fortællingen om ham var, at jeg slog ham ihjel, fordi jeg tog håbet fra ham, eller at jeg havde muligheden for at redde hans liv (som den eneste) og at jeg fejlede. Efter mit foredrag og efterfølgende spørgsmål fra publikum, sagde arrangører af aftenen til mig: "Du gør det meget svært for dig selv". Hvad hun mente var vist nok

It is a black man, who is offering me his seat in my local shawarma joint. In a world without reference point I am drawn back into my African home. He makes me cry, while I am flushing everything I ever believed in down the toilet.

I know these two people. He loves her very much. Maybe more than anyone can bear to be loved. he just wants her to be happy. He wants to take care of her. There is only one problem: they are very far apart. It pains him more than he can explain to anyone - not even to her. She is very beautiful, but she cannot see it. He will never stop telling her, and she will always say that she is ugly. They are often talking into the blue air without listening, because they are so far away from each other. They do what they do to survive in their separate lives. It is not easy for them. He tries to be strong, and he tells himself that he just has to take good care of her. No matter how she reacts he must never think that she does not like him anymore. He is strong, but it is hard. She is very kind. She has big faith in God. He respects her. Never in his life has he met a woman who believes in something like she does. He has always been looking for a woman like her and will do anything not to loose