Lost forever gone

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I'm walking without direction. Trying to find a place to rest. There is always a wind that bothers me or somebody talking, which scratches against my brain.
The first time I went so far away as I have been again, I was lost to solitude. This time I'm just lost. There will be no way back. My life as I thought is definitively over.
Many times in between I have been going to the borders of my comprehension. So I believed that I was prepared for the challenge that I blinded myself into, but if you only go to the borders, then everything you see is already integrated in you. Still you will meet the unknown, but you will be yourself later.
This time I went so far away, that I lost everyting I knew. I didn't see anything ressembling myself. I became alienated from myself. I died. The man I became was not me. He was my enemy, and he did kill me in the end.

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